A Normal Conversation

Today I met with my psychologist in person up in Iowa City. I brought her my symptom evaluation form which also lists my medications and dosages as well as supplement usage and symptoms.

We talked about renovating the house, what to keep and throw away. How we both believe that the things in our homes should only be beautiful, useful or sentimental and if they don't fall into one of those categories they can be tossed. We spent time talking about the past weekend.

This isn't normal psychological therapy. We have done EMDR which is Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing where, in my case, I have ear sensors and hand sensors that cause the eyes move in the direction of pulses to replicate REM sleep. Through this process I can go back into a memory to see it from an adult perspective and change the way I feel about it. It is widely used. I have not been treated with that technique for quite some time, it can become so vivid. We have focused on dialectical behavioral therapy which includes distress tolerance strategies. We have done a technique called PEET, which is a technigue in helping move through distress emotions, And often I just talk. This was different.

Anyway, I'm equipped. I'm bringing up the old, "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" again. When someone says that to me it is an insult to my intelligence. If they had any idea of how many skills I have employed in a day just to stay above water, their head would blow up. However most of my symptoms are gone though I have found myself with racing thoughts where I can now step back, see it for what it is and calmly redirect myself.

It was nice talking about things in a "normal" conversational manner. Dwelling on how to get my house in order, putting things in perspective and in their correct priority. Mental health number one, staying well, getting the house ready to sell. In that order. I had a checkup with a specialist and was given the okay sign that the infection is gone, but the pain may remain with me for a while yet. So I am taking it easy today, will work out tomorrow and I expect to be back in shape within a week or so. I got derailed for a couple weeks but I will be back in line soon enough.

I cancelled my psychologist appointment for next week and will keep the one on the 18th. This is significant progress. We began scheduling things weekly when I was in such depression I nearly drove my car into oncoming traffic. It has been weekly sessions since that time. She sees marked improvement and sees no reason for my coming in weekly for the time being. That is a major step. I am now at every other week.

I am grateful for my daughter and the love she has for me and the person she is. I'm happy that she has someone who is kind to her and loves her and someone that she loves as well. I'm happy that she and I get along so well. What a blessing.

Have a great day!