Two posts in one day. I have to type. I am still having physical illness and those symptoms and I am wavering between anxiety and depression.
Earlier I went out and shoveled so I could get out to go to the Y if I could. Now I am miserable, feeling very alone and am scared. I just had to get that out. I've called my specialist about my infection/imflamation and am waiting to hear back. My psychologist's office called about an hour ago and she wants to talk to me over the phone since I left her my message. I wasn't even in depression when I left the message. Now, I feel so overwhelmed and on edge. Here I am trying to get our house ready to sell, making repairs and feeling like crap. There is nothing very uplifting about that. I have noticed that my anxiety and depression are coming in waves much the same as grief.
When I was working in graphics full time, on my birthday, to cheer me up, two friends got on the internet and started asking me what year I was born, when my husband's birthday was, my wedding date, etc. and they were to get my fortune. When they got the results, they said they couldn't tell me. Finally they did. My fortune said, "You will grieve for the rest of your life." That was 10 years ago.
There that feels better.
A year of living like college students. Basically like living on nothing.
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