I love analogies. Any way to describe in terms that are more concrete than my thoughts I use to explain the nearly unexplainable.
The past two days I have felt like glass. Like those blown glass figurines. Beautiful works of art, SO delicate. I used to love going to Disneyland and watch a glass blower at work. I was fascinated. I'm not even sure if they have that talent on display there anymore.
A few years ago I had an idea for a huge work of art including different colored glass Orbs (thank you Sue!) that would hang from a sky light and cast rainbows around the room. So, I approached a local glassblower to see if he could do this request for me. It was during "Grape Festival" in Nauvoo, Illinois, and he took me back into his studio workshop and showed me bags of purple glass balls. Then he told me, "I'm so busy doing these "grapes" that I don't want to see anything round anymore. It would be easier if I just showed you how to do it." Great! What an opportunity! So of course he taught me how to get the molten glass onto the five foot long blowing tool and continue rotating the pipe, blowing, rolling, and before it got too cool, he taught me how to score it and snap it off of the end. Viola! A glass ball.
He didn't have all of the colors I needed but I did what I could. At the same time I was suffering from Cobalt blood poisoning and could barely use my fingers for anything fine. I could do this, but later learned that of course cobalt blue contains cobalt and so do the fumes in the studio, the kiln and the molten clear lake of glass. Through this experience I learned just how sturdy glass can be but don't drop it. It is extremely fragile. And my turn as a glass blower was brief.
So I have felt a little like a piece of stained glass on a mountain peak, bright when the sun shines on it but liable to fall off the edge and break. A breath of air strong enough and my depression will come back. We are all breakable. It is tough coming out of depression about 90% sure that I'm going to go back into it at any time for whatever reason. The nature of the beast.
I read a study back in 2000 about Cancer and Severe depression. People who had experienced both said that depression was the toughest. Because people can't see it. They barely understand it and it comes labeled "character flaw". Cancer, on the other hand doesn't carry that stigma. There is a huge support base. In depression, what one can't see, is the illness but you're still standing (you'll crash later, but until then it is a constant pain.) People get irritated, they've done their best to bring you out of it, and everyone has a breaking point.
The unknown is frightening. Sometimes I think our bodies would be a better communicator if we were made of fired clay. Chinks cut out here and there, cracks as we age (wrinkles cover that pretty good), and wanting so badly to just crumble into dust. I'm extremely fortunate in that I'm beginning to see depression as a temporary condition. Reading through my blog it is easy to see that I struggle and that it can affect just about every part of your life...but in comparison the good times are more often.
Awareness of that fact is crucial to survival. I don't say that flippantly. It has pushed many people over the edge. I am thankful for my core beliefs, my support group, my husband and daughter. People I used to work with might not even recognize the new Peggy with depression. And when I started a new job the day my dad passed away, these people have yet to see me as "normal" for me.
I've belabored the point. I'm just feeling at a precipiece and a breeze could take me down. Therefore I had to do some real soul searching to give myself a life I could live with, spiritually, mentally, socially and physically. I do as much as I can while still giving everything up to God. I do what I can for that day, this moment, one second and pray that I get through another bout.
"Fragile" now that is one word that I would never have used to describe myself. I was always a Tom boy, in the dirt constantly, trying everything my brothers did, almost. But for now "fragile" is an apt adjective. I look far from fragile! It is so funny. I have huge shoulders that narrow down to two sizes smaller at my waist and hips. I look like a "superhero" That just goes to show that you really can't judge a person by their shape. My skin holds it all in, but I am broken. I would really like a nice long remission to heal. There is no cure, just management and treatments.
I am thankful to all of my friends who have been so accomodating to me, who love me for who I am and still like me. Everyone on this earth is here to learn things. We'll each get the lessons we were sent to learn, not everyone is going to have the same experience but each will get what they need. And with God all things are possible. So let's get up and seize the day, thank God for it, and charge in without fear.
A year of living like college students. Basically like living on nothing.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
A Drizzly Day Brings Freshness
It's drizzling. I can't say "I'm under the weather" because the weather has been pretty consistently rainy. Today though it feels good being up early listening to the birds that love this weather. I've always loved rain. Except in Los Angeles. Smog (years ago) dirtied the screens, and since it really doesn't rain much in So. Calif my dad would take a hose to the windows and screens. I would watch him from inside the house as he got all of that gunk out of the screens. It was fun watching the water comming right at you and the effect the window barrier had.
Different people would say they loved the smell after a rain. To me it always smelled like dirty screens. Except here in the wild midwest. Freshly mown grass, the authentic smell of cleanliness. One of the first things I noticed about the midwest on the morning I woke up (I got in at night)to the cleanest windows I had ever seen. No gunk anywhere. Spring green and freshness. Even the birds had color, yellow finches, cardinals, blue jays, robins. The first time I saw a yellow bird in someone's backyard I said, "Somebody's bird got loose!" My friends laughed and told me it was a yellow finch and that they had tons of them, I was truly in awe.
Where I came from we had crows, sea gulls, wrens, doves and pigeons. Trees turned out to be the same thing. Green in summer then their leaves would turn brown and fall off. I needed to move to the midwest just to see the color version of life. The free feeling, few fences and sidewalks, not too much graffiti around here. Life here is colorful, opulent, quiet and the grass is so green. Our grass in L.A. had to be watered by the hose or with a sprinkler system. I think that was one of the things that amazed me. My house growing up, our lawn didn't need to be mowed very often. And it was often dead dry grass when the area had to conserve water. I'm so glad I moved.
People all the time ask me why would I leave L.A.? These are usually people who have maybe been for a visit, or haven't been but have watched the Tournament of Roses Parade with it's "Always blue skies" How mother nature pulled that off year after year is beyond me. Through our picture window in our living room we could see Mt. Baldy, a mountain with usually snow on the peaks. My husband, who was there for the first time didn't believe me when I said we had a view of the mountains through our window. We had apartments across the street. We had to wait seven days for the smog to clear out (usually after a rain!) before he believed me. He was amazed. We used to joke that "I don't trust breathing air I can't see."
I like clean air and the green grass, colorful flowers and different colored birds. I have a philosophy about birds such as the cardinal and the yellow finch. Their purpose here on earth is for our enjoyment. Neither one of them have colors and markings to camouflage them from enemys. They don't blend in to the blue sky or green trees and grasses or snow. I love to see them, it is always a treat.
Well, I think it is obvious that I am doing well today. Now to go downstairs, it's kind of chilly, I'll make myself some Abuelita hot cocoa and some breakfast. Then go to worship God.
Have a great day!
Different people would say they loved the smell after a rain. To me it always smelled like dirty screens. Except here in the wild midwest. Freshly mown grass, the authentic smell of cleanliness. One of the first things I noticed about the midwest on the morning I woke up (I got in at night)to the cleanest windows I had ever seen. No gunk anywhere. Spring green and freshness. Even the birds had color, yellow finches, cardinals, blue jays, robins. The first time I saw a yellow bird in someone's backyard I said, "Somebody's bird got loose!" My friends laughed and told me it was a yellow finch and that they had tons of them, I was truly in awe.
Where I came from we had crows, sea gulls, wrens, doves and pigeons. Trees turned out to be the same thing. Green in summer then their leaves would turn brown and fall off. I needed to move to the midwest just to see the color version of life. The free feeling, few fences and sidewalks, not too much graffiti around here. Life here is colorful, opulent, quiet and the grass is so green. Our grass in L.A. had to be watered by the hose or with a sprinkler system. I think that was one of the things that amazed me. My house growing up, our lawn didn't need to be mowed very often. And it was often dead dry grass when the area had to conserve water. I'm so glad I moved.
People all the time ask me why would I leave L.A.? These are usually people who have maybe been for a visit, or haven't been but have watched the Tournament of Roses Parade with it's "Always blue skies" How mother nature pulled that off year after year is beyond me. Through our picture window in our living room we could see Mt. Baldy, a mountain with usually snow on the peaks. My husband, who was there for the first time didn't believe me when I said we had a view of the mountains through our window. We had apartments across the street. We had to wait seven days for the smog to clear out (usually after a rain!) before he believed me. He was amazed. We used to joke that "I don't trust breathing air I can't see."
I like clean air and the green grass, colorful flowers and different colored birds. I have a philosophy about birds such as the cardinal and the yellow finch. Their purpose here on earth is for our enjoyment. Neither one of them have colors and markings to camouflage them from enemys. They don't blend in to the blue sky or green trees and grasses or snow. I love to see them, it is always a treat.
Well, I think it is obvious that I am doing well today. Now to go downstairs, it's kind of chilly, I'll make myself some Abuelita hot cocoa and some breakfast. Then go to worship God.
Have a great day!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Normal Day, Planting Flowers & Cleaning
I still have my heavy duty knee pads on from planting flowers. I'm having a very good day. Missed my opportunity to go to the Y. I was up early enough I just found other things to do.
I had to go to the bank and pick up our new checks so I can pay bills. Feeling free from anxiety. I think it is my mind set concerning my Faith. I am so comfortable with my beliefs now I don't feel like a fraud. What else? Made the bed, opened the windows, Killed the TV (I wanted to watch a few episodes of 'The Office' but figured out how to revive it.) I uploaded several pictures to my facebook profile of the house in summer.
I was going to mow but grass is too high and the ground too wet again and had to farm it out to a guy that does that as a business. I feel so hopeful for the house. I still need to stage it. Yesterday I went to Lowes and spent about $100 on plants and flowers. We have some beautiful perennials that accent the house, but we have a flower ring around our bird bath so I planted some creeping phlox, columbine, hostas and mini daisies. The bird bath I scrubbed clean and when all was dry I sprayed it lightly with white spray paint. Looks naturally aged, just not horrendously aged.
Today I am still going to exercise by running up and down my stairs for a half hour. I have some free weights and I'll work out with those too. I'm staying home so I can be here when the lawn care guy is here. I have been watching my calories. I have an appetite again and it is not helping me keep the weight off, so I am writing it all down.
Bob is looking at his schedule to see if he can take a couple vacation days to drive with me out to Colorado to handle my mom's final things since she passed away. I am doing well right now, but sometimes things or people trigger me. The stuff is in my brother's house which used to be my moms. I get triggered around my brother. So I really need Bob to come with me. We can't make any decisions about what to do with the stuff if I don't know what is there.
My brother is not doing too good. Had a recent angiogram and doctors are going to do a vein re-route on one of his legs. He has diabetes and it is not totally under control. I feel sad for him, my tumultuous life is like a trip to the park beside his.
You know in the movie "What About Bob?" (which I ask myself that everyday...)Bill Murray yells from a boat he is strapped to that, "I'm a sailor, I'm a sailor, I'm sailing!" Today I found out that I like planting flowers and taking care of them. I actually talk to the plants. I have never done that, people who do that are...eccentric...so now I fit right in. I felt like calling one of my friends and saying, "I'm gardening! I'm a gardener! I'm gardening! When I was 60 pounds heavier bending and kneeling was really hard, hard to breathe and tough to move around. So today when I got in the moist earth I didn't hurt anywhere. That was a relief.
Not really much to say here. That makes me so happy. I'm going to take a break and go read Jane Eyre. This is one of my better days. I'll take it! Have a good day!
I had to go to the bank and pick up our new checks so I can pay bills. Feeling free from anxiety. I think it is my mind set concerning my Faith. I am so comfortable with my beliefs now I don't feel like a fraud. What else? Made the bed, opened the windows, Killed the TV (I wanted to watch a few episodes of 'The Office' but figured out how to revive it.) I uploaded several pictures to my facebook profile of the house in summer.
I was going to mow but grass is too high and the ground too wet again and had to farm it out to a guy that does that as a business. I feel so hopeful for the house. I still need to stage it. Yesterday I went to Lowes and spent about $100 on plants and flowers. We have some beautiful perennials that accent the house, but we have a flower ring around our bird bath so I planted some creeping phlox, columbine, hostas and mini daisies. The bird bath I scrubbed clean and when all was dry I sprayed it lightly with white spray paint. Looks naturally aged, just not horrendously aged.
Today I am still going to exercise by running up and down my stairs for a half hour. I have some free weights and I'll work out with those too. I'm staying home so I can be here when the lawn care guy is here. I have been watching my calories. I have an appetite again and it is not helping me keep the weight off, so I am writing it all down.
Bob is looking at his schedule to see if he can take a couple vacation days to drive with me out to Colorado to handle my mom's final things since she passed away. I am doing well right now, but sometimes things or people trigger me. The stuff is in my brother's house which used to be my moms. I get triggered around my brother. So I really need Bob to come with me. We can't make any decisions about what to do with the stuff if I don't know what is there.
My brother is not doing too good. Had a recent angiogram and doctors are going to do a vein re-route on one of his legs. He has diabetes and it is not totally under control. I feel sad for him, my tumultuous life is like a trip to the park beside his.
You know in the movie "What About Bob?" (which I ask myself that everyday...)Bill Murray yells from a boat he is strapped to that, "I'm a sailor, I'm a sailor, I'm sailing!" Today I found out that I like planting flowers and taking care of them. I actually talk to the plants. I have never done that, people who do that are...eccentric...so now I fit right in. I felt like calling one of my friends and saying, "I'm gardening! I'm a gardener! I'm gardening! When I was 60 pounds heavier bending and kneeling was really hard, hard to breathe and tough to move around. So today when I got in the moist earth I didn't hurt anywhere. That was a relief.
Not really much to say here. That makes me so happy. I'm going to take a break and go read Jane Eyre. This is one of my better days. I'll take it! Have a good day!
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Calm Seas Don't Produce Skillful Sailors
Well it seems if there isn't one crisis, I have to have another going on. Spiritual this time, can't elaborate but I am tired.
I want the house finished and listed. It is taking a long time. Bob and I have been apart nearly 5 months. At least we are in driving distance only three and a half hours in between.
Yesterday I fell back into depression for a time. Couldn't wait to get in bed and read Pride and Prejudice. I worked out pretty good yesterday. Had a lot of pent-up frustration to get out. Swam for a half hour, did free weights, Cross-train eliptical for 35 minutes and treadmill for 30. I have little control over the state of the house, but I have control of my working out and what I put in my mouth. I'm back to not eating very much. I have to watch it. I don't want to lose another 20 pounds in a month. Losing weight would be great, but not by being depressed and alone. I had Monday and Tuesday were excellent. I was just this side of hyper manic and was slightly hypo manic.
It's great to have fun and I did at relief society this week. I look at these women and love them, and have loved them for a long time. But knowing I'm leaving I see these women as ghosts that are going to evaporate with my move. I will always love them and respect them. They just wont always be there. My spiritual life is inverted. My husband I think is hoping my spiritual downfall is due to depression. But this has been something I have struggled with for 28 years or so. I've just now found the need for bringing it to the surface.
I've been reading Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte, and am now reading through Pride and Prejudice. I love reading. But my pursuit of happiness at this point is getting the house ready. Take some pictures, make a flyer for the realtor and ourselves and get it out on the market. I still take time for my Meditation and Chakra balancing.
See, right there I sound like a nut case. Good thing I have drugs. I can't wait to get back on the supplements. A friend has been taking something and I want to see what it is. She is feeling great.
That seems to be my life. Running around like a mouse hunting for cheese, I search and reach and look over the maze searching for the promised land of normal. I'm better able these last couple of times as bringing to mind the suffering of others which is worse than mine or comparable. Just knowing that others, some, have no relief at all in their illnesses and conditions gives me a feeling of guilt because I complain, live through it by the skin of my teeth and then at least have a break of a few days. I wanted to leave today to go to Illinois but I want the kitchen done first. Maybe tomorrow.
I like getting in shape, like I said it is one area that I can control. I suppose I should close for now since it is nearly noon and I haven't even started my chores.
I'm going to make it! Failure is not an option and the saying, "Calm seas don't produce skillful sailors" is my new battle cry. I'll just keep riding the waves and know there is relief at the other side.
I want the house finished and listed. It is taking a long time. Bob and I have been apart nearly 5 months. At least we are in driving distance only three and a half hours in between.
Yesterday I fell back into depression for a time. Couldn't wait to get in bed and read Pride and Prejudice. I worked out pretty good yesterday. Had a lot of pent-up frustration to get out. Swam for a half hour, did free weights, Cross-train eliptical for 35 minutes and treadmill for 30. I have little control over the state of the house, but I have control of my working out and what I put in my mouth. I'm back to not eating very much. I have to watch it. I don't want to lose another 20 pounds in a month. Losing weight would be great, but not by being depressed and alone. I had Monday and Tuesday were excellent. I was just this side of hyper manic and was slightly hypo manic.
It's great to have fun and I did at relief society this week. I look at these women and love them, and have loved them for a long time. But knowing I'm leaving I see these women as ghosts that are going to evaporate with my move. I will always love them and respect them. They just wont always be there. My spiritual life is inverted. My husband I think is hoping my spiritual downfall is due to depression. But this has been something I have struggled with for 28 years or so. I've just now found the need for bringing it to the surface.
I've been reading Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte, and am now reading through Pride and Prejudice. I love reading. But my pursuit of happiness at this point is getting the house ready. Take some pictures, make a flyer for the realtor and ourselves and get it out on the market. I still take time for my Meditation and Chakra balancing.
See, right there I sound like a nut case. Good thing I have drugs. I can't wait to get back on the supplements. A friend has been taking something and I want to see what it is. She is feeling great.
That seems to be my life. Running around like a mouse hunting for cheese, I search and reach and look over the maze searching for the promised land of normal. I'm better able these last couple of times as bringing to mind the suffering of others which is worse than mine or comparable. Just knowing that others, some, have no relief at all in their illnesses and conditions gives me a feeling of guilt because I complain, live through it by the skin of my teeth and then at least have a break of a few days. I wanted to leave today to go to Illinois but I want the kitchen done first. Maybe tomorrow.
I like getting in shape, like I said it is one area that I can control. I suppose I should close for now since it is nearly noon and I haven't even started my chores.
I'm going to make it! Failure is not an option and the saying, "Calm seas don't produce skillful sailors" is my new battle cry. I'll just keep riding the waves and know there is relief at the other side.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Birthday, Mother's Day, Novel and Lemonade
It has been a few days since I wrote in here. Mother's day was wonderful! Heidi gave me a plush, hotel style huge robe. I love it! Bob was home for the weekend and we went out to dinner, and then on Sunday he made me pancakes the agreed to stay just long enough to get some sleep..(I hate sleeping without him) and got up at 3:00 a.m. to get back to Decatur.
For my birthday, it was Anne of Green Gables' theme. A recording of The Lady of Shallot, by Alfred Lord Tennyson - his poem set to music. The recording artist sounded like one of Celtic Woman. Then I got a puzzle that looked like the house of green gables, then a quote from the book framed: Tomorrow is fresh with no mistakes in it., I got season 4 of Greys Anatomy and if the weather was sunny Heidi had people lined up for a tea party. She even make a sparkling grape juice labled "Raspberry Cordial" like Diana drinks in the book and movie. Also, they got me a book of Alfred Lord Tennyson's poems to read. And then the famouse cake. Best cake I have ever had! Better than the cake I had around eight years old made by a neighbor - butter brickle. It was even better than that. So on Thursday this last week, Heidi and I went to Deluxe bakery and pastry shop in Iowa City and tried their morsels. I asked if I could have some frosting (to try to make my own cake) and they gave me both the frosting and the filling. They had never had that request. Hmmm I'm a little; hmmm; bizarre? embarassing? ah, a character is what my mom would call me.
Let's just say between my birthday and Mother's day it was all good. Slight depression, very short lived.
I had an MRI to check my head out to see why I was having mini seizures or shocks in my head. There were some things they found. One was sinusitis, another was cerebral Atropy. My brain is doing what happens to people more in their 70's. My memory is attrocious. I also learned that there may be a way to treat my PTSD physically. I don't know how but I definately will ask my Doctor about it on the 18th
The medication changes were right on the money. I'm feeling so much better! It is hard not to look to the future because I have been down this road so many times. I have a brother who thinks my "vacations" to a psych unit is a cop out. He has depression and PTSD and is miserable. But even my psychologist has said that with what he has dealt with his entire life, therapy might be more harm than good, but with the right medication he could feel much better and wouldn't find the need to self-medicate.
Depression is widespread in my family. Environmentally was an easy culprit, but abuse and psychologically we each came out damaged. There were a lot of mind games and you never knew when you were in the clear and away from dad's belt. Each of us has a bit of PTSD and depression.
I am going to try to change this blog somewhat. Since I am not following TrueHope at this time, I am going to be finding ways to cope and share them here, talk about what life is like on meds. When I am securely planted somewhere else I will attempt it then. I have been doing my 'house of the week" reward thing and giving a rose to someone every Monday. These two projects keep my mind occupied. I've considered making my life story into a book, but there would be too much collateral damage I think. As scattered to the wind we are, I still have love for my brothers and sister and their family. Maybe I can do something, change the names, give instances that are similar but not the same. I think it would be obvious to my family even if I altered facts and sold it as a novel. Maybe I need to do it to get it out of my system. I am ready to turn all those lemons I've been tossed into lemonade. I have actually been making homemade lemonade and orangeade. Way better than store stuff. I have decided I will answer when someone asks how I am, I will say, "Need to make some lemonade today,, otherwise I'm great" If I could look at it that way that would be great. Something that comes with Bi-Polar and depression is that you are in hell and even making lemonade is impossible. But I am going to attempt it.
I'll keep you posted.
For my birthday, it was Anne of Green Gables' theme. A recording of The Lady of Shallot, by Alfred Lord Tennyson - his poem set to music. The recording artist sounded like one of Celtic Woman. Then I got a puzzle that looked like the house of green gables, then a quote from the book framed: Tomorrow is fresh with no mistakes in it., I got season 4 of Greys Anatomy and if the weather was sunny Heidi had people lined up for a tea party. She even make a sparkling grape juice labled "Raspberry Cordial" like Diana drinks in the book and movie. Also, they got me a book of Alfred Lord Tennyson's poems to read. And then the famouse cake. Best cake I have ever had! Better than the cake I had around eight years old made by a neighbor - butter brickle. It was even better than that. So on Thursday this last week, Heidi and I went to Deluxe bakery and pastry shop in Iowa City and tried their morsels. I asked if I could have some frosting (to try to make my own cake) and they gave me both the frosting and the filling. They had never had that request. Hmmm I'm a little; hmmm; bizarre? embarassing? ah, a character is what my mom would call me.
Let's just say between my birthday and Mother's day it was all good. Slight depression, very short lived.
I had an MRI to check my head out to see why I was having mini seizures or shocks in my head. There were some things they found. One was sinusitis, another was cerebral Atropy. My brain is doing what happens to people more in their 70's. My memory is attrocious. I also learned that there may be a way to treat my PTSD physically. I don't know how but I definately will ask my Doctor about it on the 18th
The medication changes were right on the money. I'm feeling so much better! It is hard not to look to the future because I have been down this road so many times. I have a brother who thinks my "vacations" to a psych unit is a cop out. He has depression and PTSD and is miserable. But even my psychologist has said that with what he has dealt with his entire life, therapy might be more harm than good, but with the right medication he could feel much better and wouldn't find the need to self-medicate.
Depression is widespread in my family. Environmentally was an easy culprit, but abuse and psychologically we each came out damaged. There were a lot of mind games and you never knew when you were in the clear and away from dad's belt. Each of us has a bit of PTSD and depression.
I am going to try to change this blog somewhat. Since I am not following TrueHope at this time, I am going to be finding ways to cope and share them here, talk about what life is like on meds. When I am securely planted somewhere else I will attempt it then. I have been doing my 'house of the week" reward thing and giving a rose to someone every Monday. These two projects keep my mind occupied. I've considered making my life story into a book, but there would be too much collateral damage I think. As scattered to the wind we are, I still have love for my brothers and sister and their family. Maybe I can do something, change the names, give instances that are similar but not the same. I think it would be obvious to my family even if I altered facts and sold it as a novel. Maybe I need to do it to get it out of my system. I am ready to turn all those lemons I've been tossed into lemonade. I have actually been making homemade lemonade and orangeade. Way better than store stuff. I have decided I will answer when someone asks how I am, I will say, "Need to make some lemonade today,, otherwise I'm great" If I could look at it that way that would be great. Something that comes with Bi-Polar and depression is that you are in hell and even making lemonade is impossible. But I am going to attempt it.
I'll keep you posted.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Good Morning! Shaping up to be a Good Day!
Good morning! It is great to have a window right next to me where I can look out and see the leaves on the trees and the lush grass. I was up at 5:30 talking to my husband. He was in Bloomington, IL airport getting ready to board for a trip to Dallas, Texas where he will go through supervisor training.
I had set my alarm for 5:30 anyway so I was just waking up. My plan was to go to the "Y" early. But now I will probably wait until after the guy who has been chopping our grass (our mower was broken and we couldn't mow so we have to bring in the big guns) and the friend who has been working on our remodeling are done for the day. I have plenty of things here to attack.
Last night I carried several boxes down stairs to put in the garage. My house is still in a messy transition, but I think with a few hours the kitchen will be done, I'll stage it and I'll call the Realtor to come back. I'm very excited about how the bathroom came out and how the kitchen is looking. It feels like living out of a suitcase trying to keep everything neat.
I'm doing great this morning. My "picture of the day" is of a rocking chair on our kitchen porch with a sign that says "Tea Time". I love to have people over for tea. It's not TV, or a project or trip, it is just time to sit and talk. I don't think we do enough of that as a society. Maybe that is where I get into trouble. I don't like to be inundated with auditory input. I hate going in to Walgreens the one in Fort Madison. For some reason the music they play is slightly too loud I think. I don't know how the people that work there can stand it.
It is Monday! Buy a rose day. This is the day that the florists get fresh flowers and they are healthy and great to give to someone. I might make a trip to Keokuk and give it to one of the librarians who has always been so helpful. I picked out my "house of the week" for last week. This yard is so relaxing and a perfect extension of a cozy porch. You just want to be there and visit. Maybe that is what is wrong with me, I seek out opportunities to visit people and avoid television as much as possible. Unless it is something we have recorded on DVR I don't usually turn it on. THERE'S my problem..too much time in my own head.
No. It is just my condition, I need to latch on to anything that gives me the chance to do something for someone that is mutually beneficial. I walk and look and send a reward, give someone a flower. I get a good walk in, appreciate the hard work that someone has put into their home, print out a "certificate" and send three dollars. Then for about $3 I get a rose for someone specific. Warm fuzzies all around.
On that note I will give my guys a call and see what time I can go to the "Y" after my meditation time.
You have a good day! I'd say "Happy Cinco de Mayo" except for the fact that it was shoved down my throat so much growing up. I suppose giving ballet folklorico and black hats with white pom poms and trumpets their own special day once a year is okay. It's going to be a beautiful day!
I had set my alarm for 5:30 anyway so I was just waking up. My plan was to go to the "Y" early. But now I will probably wait until after the guy who has been chopping our grass (our mower was broken and we couldn't mow so we have to bring in the big guns) and the friend who has been working on our remodeling are done for the day. I have plenty of things here to attack.
Last night I carried several boxes down stairs to put in the garage. My house is still in a messy transition, but I think with a few hours the kitchen will be done, I'll stage it and I'll call the Realtor to come back. I'm very excited about how the bathroom came out and how the kitchen is looking. It feels like living out of a suitcase trying to keep everything neat.
I'm doing great this morning. My "picture of the day" is of a rocking chair on our kitchen porch with a sign that says "Tea Time". I love to have people over for tea. It's not TV, or a project or trip, it is just time to sit and talk. I don't think we do enough of that as a society. Maybe that is where I get into trouble. I don't like to be inundated with auditory input. I hate going in to Walgreens the one in Fort Madison. For some reason the music they play is slightly too loud I think. I don't know how the people that work there can stand it.
It is Monday! Buy a rose day. This is the day that the florists get fresh flowers and they are healthy and great to give to someone. I might make a trip to Keokuk and give it to one of the librarians who has always been so helpful. I picked out my "house of the week" for last week. This yard is so relaxing and a perfect extension of a cozy porch. You just want to be there and visit. Maybe that is what is wrong with me, I seek out opportunities to visit people and avoid television as much as possible. Unless it is something we have recorded on DVR I don't usually turn it on. THERE'S my problem..too much time in my own head.
No. It is just my condition, I need to latch on to anything that gives me the chance to do something for someone that is mutually beneficial. I walk and look and send a reward, give someone a flower. I get a good walk in, appreciate the hard work that someone has put into their home, print out a "certificate" and send three dollars. Then for about $3 I get a rose for someone specific. Warm fuzzies all around.
On that note I will give my guys a call and see what time I can go to the "Y" after my meditation time.
You have a good day! I'd say "Happy Cinco de Mayo" except for the fact that it was shoved down my throat so much growing up. I suppose giving ballet folklorico and black hats with white pom poms and trumpets their own special day once a year is okay. It's going to be a beautiful day!
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