About Protracted Withdrawal

Last night I had a high level of anxiety. I didn't let it get the best of me. I am praying that the skills I have learned will get me through the roughest times yet to come. It is a beautiful morning, the sun is out and we got snow overnight, but I woke up to birds chirping. No pain today so far. Thank you God. Today I am feeling quite solid. A great way to start the day. I'm planning on going to the Y today, do a cross ramp eliptical and lift some weights. My weight has stayed down during this time but I really need to shape up again.

I am however now officially scared. I read up on Protracted Withdrawal. This is what happens once psychotropic meds leave your brain. When first put on a p-drug the doctor will tell you that it will take three to six weeks to begin seeing a difference. I have discovered why. For the first three weeks the medication is bonding to cells and are not free to float around and be used by the brain. They are stored in the muscles and tissues saturating them. Once those cells are saturated the medication can act on the brain. Protracted withdrawal is what happens when the brain is not getting those medications, they eventually release from the tissues and are free floating again. Once off of the medications and on the supplements the brain feels healthy again. But since the brain is healthy, the release of pmeds into the bloodstream can evidence as drug interaction or overdose. There is nothing to be done to get the drug out of the body except go through the withdrawal, drink lots of water and protein shakes.

The scariest thing is that the symptoms experienced are those for which the drug was initially introduced. I went to the message boards on the truehope web site and looked it up. I am committed to this treatment. And I am terrified. My symptoms in the past have been suicidal ideation, anxiety, depression, paranoia and fear. I'm not too keen on facing those again. I still feel that healing the brain is what has to happen, but I'm in for a long haul in fighting these other symptoms. I know that there is no other way to get these things out of my system except to follow it all the way through. So with what time I have that is good, I will spend getting the house ready for sale and work on my novel. I will include self soothing into my daily life so it is a habit when the worst times come. Since I don't know how well I will do in the coming months, I must act now while still above water.

Prayer is something that helps me tremendously. I feel a reassurance that I will not be left alone even if I may feel that way at times. I have survived to this point and I will make it with God's help.

In Gratitude: I'm thankful for the sun shining today, blue skies and a furnace that works. I'm grateful for your prayers and good thoughts that are with me through this journey.