Boring Stuff

It is sunny and white out. Lots of snow and I don't have the energy to shovel. Still in pain but much better than a week ago. I know I will have to force myself outside to clear the path to our door and driveway. Living out in the country gives me an advantage I guess. I wouldn't think of not shoveling if I had a sidewalk to take care of. But I have my daughter's fiance coming over today and he'll need a place to park. The difference between winter and summer is that although both may be uncomfortable at least in summer you don't have to shovel it.

I'm feeling shaky today, yesterday was good until about 4p.m. when I started having some anxiety and late night having depression. I slept in after going to sleep to Bill Murray in "What About Bob?" I love that movie. Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a scizzophreic and so am I. I'm not scizzophrenic, but I love the humor in the movie. I've been told I have Dissociative Identity Disorder or Multiple Personality Disorder. There has only been one instance of a different identity and that was during an inpatient stay being placed under hypnosis by my therapist. If there were other episodes I sure don't know of any. Hey, if you ever see my post and it is written by a five year old let me know!

goals for today are to shovel, pack, clean and have Travis paint the cupboards in the kitchen. The upstairs bathroom has a cavernous hole about 6'x 4' due to a pipe being fixed. I don't know where the project stands but I'm glad it is getting taken care of. Bummer of a way to have to fix a pipe. Oh well, this is an old farm house at least 115 years old.

I feel as though I'm on a mission taking these supplements. Searching for health knowing there are mine fields of depression along the way. At least knowing that makes it easier.

Shaking has stopped. Pain hasn't but I need to go shovel. I will be talking with my counselor today and may be reducing meds again. I'll let you know tomorrow.

In Gratitude: Having the house worked on, the plumbing, etc. Last night I had to fix the toilet downstairs. And I began to feel stressed. Then I thought: I have a home, heat, food, and running water. Things are stressful but my basic needs are met. I have more than what so many people in the world are lacking. And I am grateful.