Two Lists

I just got out of the hospital after having my meds adjusted. I went in to be safe. With my illness which includes recurrent depressive episodes this is just something that comes with the territory. I decided to make two lists: one is a list of things to do or think about when I am bored, worried or depressed; the other is a list of reasons to hang on.

List one:

Bored? Worried? Depressed? Things to ponder...

Book, the museum collection which I am writing; pack something or do something for the house; write a letter; remember how much my husband loves me; how much I love my husband; how much I love my daughter; the fact that my daughter and her husband are happy, name as many friends as I can, think of all of my blessings and gifts, work on my book:Silent Witness; write goals for the future; think of my husband and I being together again; spend time playing with my cat, read scriptures, go to the Library, take a walk, work out, call a friend.

List two:

Reasons...
This feeling though it feels like it will never end is temporary. This is God's way of refining...absorb it, embrace it, it will go away. The sun will shine again in my soul. Jesus bled from every pour. You can do this. Think of Bob and Heidi, it will never end for them if you do this, it will never end for you if you do this. You will laugh again. There is a reason for everything, even being ground to powder. You are so much better off than so many others. God didn't give you your talents and abilities to end them this way. The Lord is your shepherd, you shall not want, He leadeth you beside the still waters and you lay down in green pastures. He resotreth you soul. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow you all the days of you life and you shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. His rod and His staff they comfort you. ..Spend the day on your knees and look to God. He is always with you. The house will sell, you and Bob will be together again. There is new treatment and you will be able to endure the change. Iowa City will find a cure for your other pain. There is light at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel is shorter than you think. There is no profit in an empty stable. You must turn yourself toward others but be true to God. Hug Missy. Visit Heidi, Go to the Y. You are a bit of clay...crushed to powder...submit to be molded. Collect yourself and DO things. Study. Make something for someone and visit them. Do as Christ has done and do it quietly. Pray for a happy countenance. pray for correct medication. Do what you must do religiously. He knocks, open it and live. Do not fear...that is of the adversary. Live and love. Visit the fatherless and widows. Take your eyes off of yourself. As for the house, do what needs to be done, a little bit at a time. Sing praises. Never forget that God loves you and is over ALL!