Clothes, jobs, church, painting, scrapbooking and life story, not much new.

This hasn't been a very good month for budgeting and sticking to it. I needed some clothes. I haven't bought jeans in over a year and unfortunately have outgrown one pair. Having applied for two positions at the newspaper I found that if I were to get one of the jobs I would have to wear something other than my tweety pajamas. I did go and get some things to wear. There is a thrift shop on Monroe and Wood streets here in Decatur that sell clothing that is brought in in large part from doctor's wives who work at St. Mary's and Decatur Memorial Hospital. So there was quite a selection.

I did apply for the job of Copy Editor which I think I would really like and then the paper came out the next day with a job as graphic artist. The problem with the graphic artist job is that they use Flash Technology which is a program that I have no experience with. I have not worked in ten years!!! And I'm at the age where...who is going to hire me? I've been around since we were using lino-type and amberlith for color separations and paste up to where we print right to negative. I would like to get a phone call but I'm not going to hold my breath. I have printed right to negative, but now they are posting everything to the internet and that is where my problem comes in. I have no doubt that I would learn it. Newspapers are just such a fast paced atmosphere that you'd better learn it quick or you'll get run over.

And the past few days I have been in depression. Part of it is from spiritual decisions which I have had to make that are difficult, and part of it is from being on a depression panel where some of the discussion triggered memories that I didn't need to access. I've been on panels before and have given speeches on depression and haven't come away feeling the way I did on Saturday. So I spent Sunday and Monday in Bed and slept until noon today, just not wanting to face the world. I have a call into my psychiatrist to let him know what is happening. He called back but my phone wasn't within reach and I got there too late. Then he was at lunch. So we'll see. Right now I am on the crux of two important things happening in my life, church, and hopefully a job.

At church I was asked to be the preparedness supervisor and I initially said yes, but the more I thought about it I have to call and tell them no. Not now. My mind is saturated, I can't even talk about it without strong feelings hitting me. It is tough to talk to friends because this is such an individual decision. I feel like my brain can only take in so much and then it goes straight to emotion. I feel like the kid in the Far Side cartoon who has this little head and says, "Excuse me, can I go now, my brain is full."

One of the joys of the digital era is being able to take pictures of everything and not have to worry about the printing cost of the film. That was quite a cost when I was scrapbooking. I need to do scrapbooking again. It is an inexpensive hobby and makes me happy. The cost comes in the form of printer ink. Although I have done some picture pages on the computer in layers in photoshop. I think I'm going to take some of my "picture of the day" pictures and make scrapbook pages in photoshop. I can always scan in background paper and stickers. I bought a stack of page protectors for that very purpose a while back but had forgotten about them until now. Now I have a new project. I don't plan on doing anything about it until I work on my paintings to sell in Arthur though.....*I also have to hem my new pants...* there are a lot of things that need to be done before having fun with the picture pages. Reminds me of the Bill Cosby children's show with picture pages.

I have been writing my life story. Kind of like using my journalling time, I started in chronological order and have split into vacations, discipline, me and mom, etc. I try to keep it all chronological but I end up off on a tangent. I have scanned in some pictures of my grandparents and family members in order to make it more personal. It is of course colored by my memory which is not very good at times, but it will be uniquely my own, just as my siblings, should they write, would unique and their own stories too.

Today I need to paint, I need to exercise and I need to pick up my form from the doctor's office so that I can donate plasma. Still haven't done that yet. It is still realtively early in the day.

Have a great day!