Last Day of the Year...end of blog as you know it

This is the last day of 2010. I've looked back a time or two. This week I had an appointment with my new psychiatrist and he suggested a medication change from Effexor 300 mg. in the morning to 150 in morning and at night. I had Chest pain on Thanksgiving after going without medication until 3:00 in the afternoon. I need to take my meds religiously and on time. I am going to stick with my meds the way they are. I don't want to start out 2011 with an adjustment. I'm doing very well still, I've had my anxious moments, the doctor said to keep extra Clonazapam on hand and take a half tablet if needed. I may do that today.

Yesterday I gave Bob the 16 x 20 photo of a Blue Jay that I took from the guest room. I am going to have a mat cut for it, as we have a frame that it will fit in. I used to do professional framing so I just need the mat. I gave up my mat cutting and framing many years ago, but the knowledge is still there. I wish I did have my mat cutter. Anyway I think I'll do that today when I go into town to go to the Y.

The weather is in the high 50's to low 60's. The snow is gone. The birds are out feeding somewhere else today.

I won't be transitioning off my meds for a while now. I am holding onto the hope that there will be a cure for mental illness sometime in the future. I wish there was as much funding for reasearch as there is for breast cancer. But the vast majority of people think that if 'we just think good thoughts" the illness will go away as if it were not an illness at all. In my case there is medication and behavioral theraputic action. I need to stay away from major stressors, and unhealthy relationships. I need to be open with my husband when something is bothering me and not suck it inside and suffocate me.

In the new year I do have goals, I am going to actively pursue the publication of a children's book called "The Visitors of Pompadour", and re-arrange and update my book, "Silent Witness", continue working on, "The Museum Collection" and drawing line art for reproducibles publications. I figure if I can read five books at once I should be able to switch gears and write five books at once. Although two are already written and one is partially. I also would like to write a Christmas book called, "When Santa Comes to My House" These things keep me busy and hopefully will be profitable. I will be tracking my submissions on the bulletin board above my desk, so it is right there in front of me.

Beginning tomorrow I will be blogging about going on the Dave Ramsey "total money makeover" plan and the effort to live like college students, at least the way we used to live when we didn't have any money. I think this year will go into a few extra days as we do a couple final purchases for 2010. My blog will still be called, "Pegs Perspective" and I may make the occasional detour from the blog's main content, as I have in this one. I will have updates in my condition as they may occur. It is so easy to be feeling well and forget the horrible feelings of depression that lie in wait like a timebomb ready to explode. I can only pray that with as many times as I have gone through it, I have learned more ways of dealing with it each time. I don't know when I will go back on True Hope. It is a wonderful thing, and I hope I can do it someday, but the thought of my failing and going back on medication scares me near to death. I was so anxious to start that I gave up a trip to Greece to see my brother there, and ended up back on Medication after all.
I can't dismiss it as an option, but it won't be for me in the very near future. I think I will stick with medication and psychiatry to keep me stable until there is a major breakthrough. We will see.

Otherwise Happy New Year! See you in 2011.

P.S. When our Dave Ramsey money makeover is through, not necessarily in one year, I want to buy a home on Bali. Homes are affordable compared to the U.S. and maybe we will be able to afford one.