It is obvious to me that this isn't going to be a cakewalk. Remember those? I won a cake once, it was fun. The phrase, "isn't going to be a cakewalk" was coined by one familiar with the county fair-type game. There was excitement as the music played and participants walked around in a circle hoping to land on the square that was designated the cake spot. Each step bringing you closer to the prize.
I guess this is closer to being a cakewalk than I thought. The same rules apply but the circle is a calendar and each square brings you closer to the prize. The difference is that there isn't the happy music playing and each square has it's own surprises. The surprise for me Sunday was shaking. The surprise for Monday was depression.
Today I feel level. A little shaky but not as bad as Sunday. I was able to titrate down on my meds once more. Going through withdrawal is not unfamiliar territory. Withdrawal has always been from changing prescription meds under the eye of a physician, not trying to become clean on my own. Knowing the process makes it mentally easier to go through it. I'm not doing this on my own either, I'm just doing it more often. I can take the shaking, and yesterday while I felt depressed I recognized it as all part of the process and not the end of everything good.
It has been a little stressful however. We are in the process of moving and getting the house ready to sell is a little overwhelming. I guess I'll take it just one square at a time. I'll get through this.
A year of living like college students. Basically like living on nothing.
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